The slide toward deevolution continues with Fox's new show, The Chamber. It is, without a doubt, the worst show ever. I don't know when watching people being tortured became the next big thing, but apparently it has, since ABC has a similar show, The Chair. And by similar, I mean exactly the fucking same. But we'll focus on The Chamber.

It's hosted by a Duchovny-like guy who hasn't shaved and seems quite stoned. The show begins with two people alternating answering softball questions like, "Name the Seven Dwarves." When one of these brain surgens gets one wrong, and the other contestant gets it right, that person scores a point. Earn two points and you get to enter The Chamber. There are currently two Chambers, one hot and one cold, though they may add more, like one with insects, and an electrocution one. But for now, it's fire and ice. Literally. The "winner" gets strapped into a chair where his "stress quotent" is measured by "doctors." If it gets too high, they pull the guy out. So they load the guy (or girl) into this Chamber and, depending on which one they're in, they're subjected to intense heat, freezing cold, harsh winds, bad smells, mild electrocution, and a shaking, rotating chair, all the while asking questions like, "Who was not a member of the Three Stooges?" As you complete each level, the torture gets more intense. Get two questions wrong in a row and your out. That's the game.

That's my opinion from the human side. From the TV viewer side, this is the slowest moving show I've ever seen. I was so glad that I had taped it so I could fast forward through all the downtime. Of the entire hour (well, about 44 minutes minus commercials), maybe 10 are spent in the Chamber and 7 are spent answering the preliminary questions. The rest of the time mini-Mulder is going over the rules of the show. Over and over and over again. And again. And again. So my advice is, take the hour you would have spent watching The Chamber, and instead try to move a spoon with your mind. It will be much more rewarding.

Like I'm sure a lot of people did, I picked up the American Pie 2 DVD this week. We all know it's damn funny, but I was interested in the bonus stuff. If you watched the first Pie with the commentary, you know that listening to those guys talk about the movie was almost funnier than the movie itself. I was hoping for the same thing from this disk. Saddly, they instead broke the commentary up into 4 seperate tracks: one with the director, one with the writer, one with Eddie Kaye Thomas, and one with Jason Biggs, Mena Suvari, and Thomas Ian Nicholas. While the first two are interesting, the one with Thomas is dull. There's only so much you can get from one person who was really only around for half the film. So the highlight is the Biggs/Surari/Thomas one. I think it would have been better had they all been in together, or maybe divided it into 2 tracks, one with the actors and one with the other guys.

As for the rest of the disk, it's full of the ususal bonus stuff, outtakes, casting stuff, a "making of" bit. All worth watching, though. I say pick it up. It's worth seeing.

• No tits.
• Women that slutty do not exist in real life.
• The chick that plays Miranda is ugly as fuck.
• These are the neediest, whinniest, most obsessive women EVER.
• Kim Cattrall needs to realize that Porky's was 20 years ago and that the sagging has officially begun.
• Carrie cannot be on screen more than 8 seconds without a cigarette.
• I wasted an hour on this fucking show.